top of page
Writer's picturefifshaense and friends

People versus Chipsmore

Updated: Nov 14, 2019

My eyes were shut tight and heavy, yet I could tell the first-morning Sunbeam as hints of light permeated my (eye)lids in muted shades of vermillion. Though not disturbingly glaring, its subtle presence always commands attention and acknowledgement; the chirpy break of dawn is here, but today, there was a certain kind of fuzzy dimness. I tried opening my eyes, they refused to; I fought it and succeeded, barely. The rays of sunlight peeped through the vertical gaps of the blinds telling me it is time to rise but arise I could not; my limbs were numb, my arms limp, my body weighted and my head throbbed painfully with every beating pulse. I opened my eyes wider but hardly moving, laying still in a daze as I stared blurrily at the unfamiliar window which did not belong to my bedroom. Where was I? A sense of coldness enveloped my body.


I felt the surface beneath me and touched the roughness of hard concrete, hence the cold chill on my skin. The image of the window and walls slowly emerged from memory... I was in my bathroom. It was surreal like a scene out of a movie when someone wakes to find themselves anywhere but home because they sleepwalked or teleported in their sleep, so my immediate thoughts were 'WTfish! ME SLEEPWALKING?!' Many minutes later, I began to have a slight recollection of getting out of bed earlier that morning when nature called and walking the very same route that I do every single day (and night). I'd pass my antique dresser first then some 15 feet to the glass door of my ‘comfort room’ to perform the same ritual; do my little jiggly business, flush, wash and plod back to bed. I could literally do it #sleepwalking (pun intended) but today saw a difference, one that could have made a significant momentous shift in life within that split second of it happening. As dramatic as this all sounds, unfortunately, I do not have a thrilling plot to share; I don't have a hidden sleepwalking condition , I don't have impressive levitating abilities and neither do I have mysterious teleporting powers.

The mere fact of the matter was me passing out from something said to be the 'common' micturition syncope. It usually occurs among older men and also in cases where one (again, typically males after an excessive beer-guzzling session) withholds longer than usual before emptying an already full bladder. The sudden emptying of the bladder, can cause a significant drop in blood pressure and also heart rate. Another similar syndrome commonly experienced is the vagus nerve being stimulated from internal and/or external stress factors such as emotions, fear and even bowel movement. With my episode, it was a combination of physical stress factors from a fever, and yes, I slept through even when my bladder was yelling 'bloody-fool' (pun intended again!). By the time I regained consciousness and some form of memory recall, I realised I had passed out within the perimeters of the toilet, glass shower screen and sink, so I could have fallen toward any of these fittings, but an Angel was looking out for me. I would say it was a 'guided fall' toward the open space concrete floor just where the Sun comes in! I was lucky! The rest of the story remains a blurry chaos of me dragging myself on my tummy, screaming in shock and an ambulance service that didn't quite make it to the hospital... not forgetting the trolley bed that couldn't pass the hallway to my bedroom!


As the doctors were more concerned of the impact of a fall rather the syndrome leading to it, they ran a series of MRI, CT scan and EEG tests to clear any suspicion of permanent head/brain injuries (except for the pre-existing conditions which my fans and friends out there love me for! lols!). A lovely friend brought flowers and I had enough pampering from family to last till X'mas. As I was lying in the sanitized space of the hospital room, I looked out the window longing for the World outside; busy, dusty, noisy, crazy as it was it didn't matter. What hit me hard(-der than against the concrete floor) is that 'LIFE IS TITANIC BUT DELICATE'; it can crumble like a cookie in a matter of seconds without warning. Question here - Do people or cookies go faster? The old #chipsmore tvc tagline came to mind... 'Now U See It, Now U Don't'... Almost 2 weeks had passed, and I still suffer from aches, a bruised skull and painful jaw; then again, a yummy crumbly cookie never hurts :)


BTW, hospital food do have some perky moment! The Jiggly Jello served, put the Jiggle back in butt!

JIGGLE MY JELLO, BABY!!



Resource:


0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Ode To Sky

Comments


bottom of page